Life can become frustrating when you’re stuck in a rut.
Whether it’s your job, relationship, emotions, recovery, or something else, feeling like you’re just not experiencing the kind of life you desire is no fun.
But the good news is that there are ways you can figure out what’s holding you back and get busy making the necessary changes to create different results.
You probably hear quite a bit how important your thoughts are. The success gurus are shouting all about “mindset”, but how often do we really pay attention to our thoughts or how the mind is doing?
Are you actively working with your thoughts or are you just sort of letting them run on the hamster wheel in your brain as they wish?
You see, repetitive thoughts create beliefs and beliefs create actions.
So, your behaviors are largely influenced by what kinds of beliefs are running in your mind consistently.
For example, “I’ll never succeed” played over and over in your head becomes a belief pattern. And, that belief pattern can cause you to never even try.
Do you feel stuck? Are you struggling in the same ole rut? Do you try to make changes in your life but keep hitting a brick wall?
Let’s do a quick observation of a few mindsets that may be holding you back.
You ever notice how it’s easier to believe a negative thought over a positive one? You might want to try start some new project and the first thought that comes to mind is:
“I don’t think I can do it.”
Or maybe you think you may fail, so you just throw that idea away.
The reality is that there are always thoughts running around in our minds, so it will help you when you can start paying attention to the types of thoughts you ruminate on.
Start paying attention to what kinds of thoughts you’re allowing to have free reign. Decide to let only the positive ones keep playing. It’s alright if they pop up. Just observe them and then let them fall away like a leaf in the wind.
Negative thinking can certainly cause you to lead a less-than kind of life. So, today, start tracking your thoughts and replacing those negative ones with positive ones. It takes time and practice, but it’s well worth it.
Fear is an emotion that can certainly hold you back. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of sickness, death, spiders, boredom, apathy, spouse, flying, and so on.
Fear can arise from those negative thoughts that are swirling in your mind. It can also come as a result of old wounds or childhood trauma. However, you can start to work with these thoughts and heal what needs healed. It may take some sessions with a good therapist to really experience breakthroughs, especially if you’ve experienced traumatic events in life.
There’s certainly no shame in reaching out for professional help. If fear is something that’s been holding you back, start doing some homework today and find yourself a therapist that can help you overcome that fear.
Doubt is another emotion that will hold you back. Doubt means you don’t believe you can do it or get what you want. Doubt keeps you from trying and causes you to give up.
It’s understandable to have a doubt here or there, but you don’t have to let it keep you from doing what you desire. And, if you’re worried about not being able to do something, understand that many valuable lessons are learned when something doesn’t go as planned.
Just ask any successful person if they ever doubted and they will tell you yes. They’ll also tell you that they learned from perceived failures and just keep getting up and trying again.
Go ahead and crush doubt. You’re worthy of creating the kind of life you desire.
Challenges May Come, But You Can Have A Plan
Sometimes we do encounter challenges in life. Sometimes we feel pain. That’s inevitable. But what we can do is monitor our thought life and regularly work on keeping it sane there. Recognize that we do have some control over what types of thoughts we allow to run amuck there.
If you’re not liking the way you feel about yourself? Change the thought CD playing in your head. Put in a new CD and start jamming to positivity – even if you don’t feel it now. Over time, you will!
Tips For Creating A Life You Love
As you continue to monitor your thought life or mindset and increasingly adopt a positive one, keep in mind the following tips to help you create a life you love:
1. Do a Life Inventory
Look at your life in all aspects and write down the things that you need or want to change. Be honest. Do you really need to keep letting your partner/boss/loved one walk all over you? Do you really need to keep buying things you don’t need? Are you being a good, wise steward of your resources? Does Facebook eat your time and then you complain you have no time? Are you being the best friend/partner/sibling/employee that you can be?
Do some soul searching, make a plan, and start working that plan
2. Put Yourself First
You matter. Oh, the kids matter. The partner matters. The boss matters. Your mom and dad matter. But you matter too.
Therefore, make it your intent to practice self-care, taking care of YOU before you do anything else. Essentially, this means filling yourself up so you have something of value to pour out to others.
This doesn’t mean to hibernate or be selfish. It means aim for balance in taking care of your needs and wants, as well as your loved ones.
Go get a massage. Listen to your favorite music. Read a good book. Go fishing. Draw a bubble bath and sing your heart out while sipping on green tea. Meditate. Go get a good espresso and engage with others. Take a mini YOU vacation.
Take time to invest in you daily. Then, notice the difference.
3. Enjoy Positive Company
Limit time with those that tend to leave you feeling exhausted. The whiney, sad, “I don’t know why nothing ever goes my way” people. Or those that put you down or take advantage of you.
If that’s your partner/best friend/family, have a serious heart to heart. Let them know how their negativity is affecting you. Be compassionate as you discuss this with them. They might not love to hear about it, but this is a boundary that can help you.
Start hanging out with those who are uplifting and positive. That’s not to say you shouldn’t ever spend time with those who are struggling. But you don’t have to spend all your time in such crowds.
You tend to become who you hang around with most, so keep this in mind as you surround yourself with others.
4. Stop Looking Outward For Happiness
Ask the happiest people around where they get their joy and they’ll likely tell you it comes from within. Sure, people can add value to your life, and you can enjoy great times. But true, lasting happiness will come from within.
Take time daily to just get quiet with yourself and go within. Enjoy the silence, meditate, pray, do yoga, enjoy the beauty of nature, etc. Do what works for you in cultivating that sense of peace and joy that we all long for.
Call In A Happy Mindset And Good Life
Hopefully, you’ve gotten some good tips here and will go on to call in a happier mindset and create the kind of life you desire. Celebrate your victories and learn from setbacks. And, don’t forget to share your wisdom with others seeking help.